Sir? The gentleman with the chainsword would like a word with you...

So after a week away visiting relatives, my parents and little sister came home yesterday and immediately began complaining about the horrible state of uncleanliness that my brother and I let the house fall into. Specifically, the odor. The term 'septic tank' may or may not have been bandied around while they searched for more eloquent descriptors.

Now look. I'm not a particularly messy person. If I have a place I keep something, I put it there (it's the things I don't have a place for that give me trouble). Even after a week without my mom's regular cleaning madness, the downstairs area where my brother and I spend most of our time was essentially merely as messy as usual. A pleasant, masculine sort of messiness that lets you know someone with better things to do than clean lives there.

The part that smelled like feces was the upstairs, and the reason it smelled that way was kittens. My little sister, tree-hugging peace'n'love hippy that she is, helps out the Humane Society by fostering cats over the summer. This summer, she went a little overboard and got five of them; a mother and four kittens. Which is fine, when she's the one dealing with them. When she goes on vacation and leaves them with me, that's less-than-fine.

Now, kittens are friggin' adorable, to a point. But past that point, you realize they crap all over the place and then roll around in it. I mean, I thought cats were supposed to be the clean ones, and dogs were messy, but apparently these kittens decided to break down such age-old stereotypes.

That's not to say it's entirely their fault. I'm sure we could've done a better job disposing of the scoopings from the kitty litter, and the stack of dirty dishes left in the sink was at least contributing to the 'aroma', but the smell was 90% kittens. Nevertheless, it's obviously all my fault that they were crapping on themselves, and I'm a cruel, horrible person, according to my sis. At least she promised never to leave me alone with them ever again...

Fortunately, a family came to see them today, and once they take care of the paperwork will be adopting one of them. I'm hoping we can find 'good homes' for the rest of the blighters before too long. So, anyone want a kitty?

Regardless, I finished yet another army list for 40k. This is #4, the quarterway (that's not a word, is it?) mark as far as the 16 official, tournament-legal Codexes go. If I run out before the end of the summer, I might go crazy and write up lists for some of Bell of Lost Souls' excellent fan-produced armies (Riot Police? Heck yes.), but let's not get ahead of ourselves.

Anyway, this time, it's the Blood Angels, who are basically Space Marines, but angrier, and painted red. The basic backstory here is that the Blood Angels' bloodline suffers from a debilitating genetic flaw known as the Black Rage that makes them occasionally go into a blood-thirsty rage and start killing everything. Which is really pretty useful, it turns out.

Blood Angels are an assault-oriented force, which to me means one thing: chainswords. Have I explained these things yet? The name says it all, as they are in fact chainsaw swords. Anyone who's played Doom or Gears of War (which features a chainsaw bayonet(!!)), or seen Evil Dead or Texas Chainsaw Massacre, can understand why a chainsaw that you can swing around like a sword would be awesome. Weirdly enough, though, these ridiculous weapons are just the basic armament for a Space Marine.

So anyway, on with the list:
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Blood Angels: Jump-Pack Assault Force

HQ: [note#3]
Chaplain (100)
-Jump Pack (20)
-Meltabombs (5)

Elites: [note#2]
5 x Death Company (3 free + 2 for 60)
-Jump Packs (25)

Furioso Deadnaught (100) [note#4]
-Heavy Flamer (5)
-Mounted in Drop-Pod (50)

Troops: [note#1]
Assault Squad (140)
- w/ Powerfist (25)

Assault Squad (140)
- w/ Powerfist (25)

Assault Squad (140)
- w/ Powerfist (25)

Heavy Support: [note#5]
Baal Predator (100)
-Heavy Bolter Sponsons (25)
-Extra Armor (15)

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Note#1
The core of this army (as usual in 5th Edition, aka Troops Edition) are the three minimum-strength Assault Squads that make up the bulk of the infantry in the list. These guys are equiped with chainswords and pistols for the extra attack, and jump-packs, which let them move 12" per turn in the Movement Phase and Deep-Strike into the battle if you so choose. The Sergeants each have a powerfist, which should be fairly respectable at taking out vehicles, provided you can get close enough to assault them. They should be fast enough to let you crash the enemy gun line in opening and still claim your objectives in the end-game. One thing that worries me is the small squad size: only 5 guys in each squad, which severely hampers their survivability.

Note#2
The Death Company are the best free troops in the game. Basically, for each regular squad of Marines you take, you get one free 'Death Company' (representing those Blood Angels who succumbed to the Black Rage). I gave them all jump-packs, so they're essentially Assault Marines on crack. They get the Fearless (making them largely immune to morale effects), Feel No Pain (letting them shrug off a normally-fatal wound on a roll of 4+), Furious Charge (letting them get extra Strength & Toughness when they charge), and Rending (letting their attacks sometimes ignore armor saves). The downside is that they have to always move towards the nearest enemy unit, unless you attach a Chaplain to the unit. Otherwise, they're fantastic.

Note#3
So naturally, I included a Chaplain, to attach to the Death Company, thereby eliminating their main drawback. The Chaplain is a great addition to the squad: not only does he add his own considerable close-combat abilities, but he also allows them to re-roll To Hit on the turn they charge. The jump-pack lets him keep up with the Death Company, and the melta-bombs are there to round out the list and gain a little bit more anti-armor punch.

Now, I feel like I should point something out before I continue: I never, ever use Special Characters. My rationale is that the galaxy of 40k is a grim, dark place, filled with trillions of humans. It makes no sense that your army would have one of the few guys who has an actual name. Also, what if he's killed? Most people can be replaced, but it doesn't make sense for this same special hero to keep coming back game after game. That said, most people don't have the same objections to it that I do. In fact, most all of the most competitive lists include at least one Special Character. If you want, replace the Chaplain I've chosen here with "Lemartes, Guardian of the Lost". He's the same points cost (which was intentional, on my part), and a good bit better.

Note#4
Now, time to introduce two of the Space Marines' signature units: the Dreadnaught, and the Drop Pod. Dreadnaughts are some of the toughest, heaviest-hitting Walkers in the game, and can be kitted with a variety of weapons to focus on either ranged support or close combat. Drop Pods are essentially big landing pods, and allow large squads of troops (or a single Dreadnaught) to Deep-Strike into the battle when they wouldn't normally be allowed to do so. If you read Starship Troopers, you're familiar with the concept. Drop Pods have a special 'Inertial Guidance System' (way to technobabble, guys) that allows you to Deep-Strike with almost no chance of suffering a mishap (normally, there's a chance you won't land where you intend, and if you land on enemy units or in impassable terrain you may be destroyed immediately).

The Blood Angels have a special version of the Dreadnaught, the Furioso. It replaces the standard Dreadnaught's ranged weapon with an extra close-combat arm (giving it an extra attack in close combat) that has a built-in meltagun (for a powerful short-ranged anti-tank attack). I upgraded it with a heavy flamer built into the other arm, too. The idea is to drop in behind the most dangerous enemy unit (via Drop-Pod) and unload whichever weapon is appropriate (meltagun for vehicles, flamer for troops). If it survives the next turn of enemy fire (Dreads are pretty tough), it can then charge into close combat with whichever target presents itself, getting 4 Str 10 attacks on the charge.

Note#5
Finally, the Heavy Support. The Blood Angels have access to a unique tank, the Baal Predator. This is essentially the standard Predator used by vanilla Space Marines, but replaces the autocannon or twin-linked lascannon with a twin-linked Assault Cannon. I ranted about how great a weapon the TL'd Assault Cannon is in my last list (remember, the gun on the Land Raider Crusader?), so there's no need to rehash that here. I also added heavy bolter sponsons, for some extra help dealing with large hordes of infantry that might otherwise give this list trouble.

The Baal Predator has another cool bonus, too: Over-Charged Engines. This special ability lets you move (and shoot!) as a Fast vehicle on a roll of 4+, though at the risk of not being able to move at all if you roll a 1. This makes the Baal both hard-hitting and surprisingly fast, though somewhat unpredictable. The Extra Armor is there to let you keep moving (by downgrading 'Stunned' to 'Shaken' on the Damage Table) to stay out of trouble, but I'm not sure how good a use of points it is, so it could easily be dropped and the 15 points spent elsewhere.
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As you can see, every unit in this list either has a jump-pack (and therefore a 12" move) or some other means of getting to grips with the enemy fast (Drop Pod, Over-Charged Engines). Honestly, I'm not convinced this is really a good idea; Jump Packs aren't nearly as awesome in 5th Edition (Transports Edition, remember?), but the ability to Deep-Strike almost your entire force is pretty cool and handy. This list has some clear flaws (minimum strength troops selections, reliance on close combat) but hopefully has enough of both redundancy (three identical Assault Squads, plus one extra-awesome one) and counter-options (the Deep-Striking, wherever-you-need-it Dreadnaught) to make up for this.

Next Time (40k): Space Wolves, yet another Space Marines Chapter
Next Time (philosophy): How a little knowledge is a dangerous thing
Next Time (Cops Stuff): Hostages, man. Look forward to it!