BZZZZZZZZZT Part Dos: The Return of BZZZZZZ

Well, the second set of games have been played, and as promised, I've got recaps and a look ahead at the final stage of group play. For those of you not savvy to the vagaries of the World Cup (and who can't be bothered to read the previous entry's explanation), the teams are divided into groups of 4, and play a game against each other member of their group. A win is 3 points, ties are 1, and 0 for a lose. Goal difference (gd) is the tie-breaker. Two best from each group advance, two worst go home.

Each team has played two games so far, meaning there's only one to go. The next game is make-or-break for most teams, and completely irrelevant for a couple.

So, I'll save you the trouble of skimming any of my usual comments and get straight into things:
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Group A - South Africa, Mexico, Uruguay, France
(My Picks: South Africa & Uruguay)
RSA 0-3 URU
FRA 0-2 MEX
Poor South Africa. Apparently, all the vuvuzelas in the world can't save you from being thrashed when you play lazy defense. Forlan looked great, scoring a great goal in the first half. The Bafana Boyz had a chance to rally in the second, but with about 15' to play, their goalkeeper was sent off on a harsh but technically justified red card. Forlan made the penalty, and some other Uruguayan got a final goal in injury time. Tough lose for the Southricans, who stand a good chance at being the first host country to ever get knocked out in the group stage. The Urus look very sharp on offense - something we didn't get to see much of in their opening tie against France.
Meanwhile, Mexico shocked France with a 0-2 win. Despite playing well individually, the French never seemed to be on the same page, leading to some very poorly executed attacks and general confusion on defense. Mexico rallied behind some experienced veterans, and in the second half caught France napping on a long pass that they all thought was offsides. It wasn't, and Hernandez ran with it for a one-on-one against the goalkeeper, beat him easily, and buried it in the back of the net. Mexico scored again on a penalty kick late in the game, but it almost didn't matter: France showed no sign of trying to fight their way back into it.

Group A Current Rankings:
Uruguay - 4 pts & +3 gd
Mexico - 4 pts & +2 gd
France - 1 pt & -2 gd
S. Africa - 1 pt & -3 gd
The final matches pit Uruguay and Mexico against each other to assure their spot at the top - a draw would mean they both advance. France plays South Africa, and both need a stunning win to make it. Remember, even in the most probable scenario, Mexico would have to lose and France would have to win by a combined margin of 4 goals. I don't care to comment on France's recent drama in training, but it seems unlikely to me.

Group B - South Korea, Greece, Argentina, Nigeria
(My Picks: South Korea & Greece)
ARG 4-1 KOR
GRE 2-1 NGA
Argentina looked pretty unconvincing in their first game, but any doubts that they would live up to the hype quickly abated following their 4-1 win over South Korea. Argentina's offense looked like a well-oiled machine, and even though their first point was an own-goal off a Korean defender, the other three were all lovely. Higuain made the other three for the elusive hat trick, but the real credit goes (I hate to admit) to Messi for some great feeds.
Greece looked poor in their first game, against Korea, and for the first third of their second looked even worse. Nigeria scored an early goal off a set piece, placed perfectly over a two-man wall. The game-changer came in the 33rd minute: after a scuffle for the ball at midfield, the ball goes out, and Nigeria's Kaita, for no obvious reason, decides it's a good idea to push/kick his Greek opponent in full view of the referee. He's (rightfully) ejected, and Greece claws back for a 2-1 win against the Super Eagles (who sound like they're named after an F-15 variant, but aren't). It's Greece's first ever World Cup win, and they deserve to celebrate it, but they can't expect their next opponents, Argentina, to make the same dumb mistake Nigeria did.

Group B Current Rankings:
Argentina - 6 pts & +4 gd
South Korea - 3 pts & -1 gd
Greece - 3 pts & -2 gd
Nigeria - 0 pts & -2 gd
Argentina is essentially on cruise control, unless their game against Greece gets badly out of hand. They'll probably rest some of their starters; good news for Greece, who would benefit even from a tie. Barring an Argentine meltdown, South Korea needs to beat or tie Nigeria to take the second spot, while Nigeria (though not technically eliminated) would need a resounding win to advance. The real betting is between whether Greece or South Korea will advance, to which I ask, "what's more likely: Korea beating Nigeria, or Greece beating Argentina?" You can answer that one yourself.

Group C - England, United States, Algeria, Slovenia
(My Picks: USA! USA! USA!... and England)
SLO 2-2 USA
ENG 0-0 ALG
If you didn't watch the USA's game against Slovenia, (#1: shame on you, but #2) there's no adequate way to describe my feelings for that game's referee. If you're really interested, you can watch the entire game online, either on ESPN or (I'm 90% certain) somewhere on Youtube. Suffice it to say he should have his referee's certificate revoked and his whistle taken away. And I don't just say that because of the goal he called back - I felt this way before the 70th minute.
Anyway, let's not dwell on the past. Aside from the shenanigans, it was a great game, with Slovenia's Green Dragons (A Tolkien reference? I wish...) coming up strong in the first half on some very nice offense that left the Americans looking a little bewildered. They must've said something right in the locker room, though, because the US came into the second half swinging, with Donovan drilling a beauty into the top of the net from the extreme edge. It wasn't until the 81st minute, though, that the Americans equalized off a great play in to Bradley (the coach's son, in fact). Whether or not the final goal was legitimate (and not to be biased, but it was), coming back from two down is an accomplishment in itself. To their credit, Slovenia played a great game, and have consistently punched above their weight thus far.
The other game, England versus Algeria, was expected to be a blow-out win for the Brits, but apparently no one told the Algerians that. The Desert Foxes came out with a strong defense and, somewhat surprisingly, a pretty good offense, too. They definitely made the British worry in the backfield, and that was crucial for keeping their offense off-balance. The other crucial factor, of course, was the Englanders (is that a word?) themselves, who looked thoroughly... well... dull. Rooney especially has failed to perform, but the blame is shared equally by a team that, despite no small amount of talent, seems incapable of scoring goals.

Group C Current Rankings:
Slovenia - 4 pts & +1 gd
USA - 2 pts & 0 gd & 3 goals total
England - 2 pts & 0 gd & 1 goal total
Algeria - 0 pts & -1 gd
On Wednesday, 10 o'clock eastern (I'm telling you so you'll know), the USA plays Algeria, with a win guaranteeing them a spot. England will play Slovenia at the same time, and a win for either team likewise gives them a spot. The US could hypothetically tie and still advance, but it'd be tricky. Algeria isn't technically out, but it'd take a miracle.

Group D - Serbia, Ghana, Germany, Australia
(My Picks: Australia & Germany)
GER 0-1 SER
GHA 1-1 AUS
This was a tough day for Germany fans, who, after a 4-0 win over Australia, probably figured Serbia would be a walk in the park. The German players probably thought that, too, but they came out and played a pretty good game. Unfortunately, this is another match where the ref was a deciding factor. In this case, he seemed to have just come from refereeing a ballet competition - at the first sign of physical contact between opponents, the cards were flying everywhere. He handed out 6 yellows in the first half, with two of them going to star German forward Klose. Serbia took advantage of being a man up and hammered one in at the end of the first half. Still, in the second half, Germany dominated the field, and for a moment, you could forget they were playing 10 against 11. Lukas Podolski (an old favorite of mine from the last Cup) had a great chance, with a penalty kick in the 60th minute, but it's deflected by a very skilled Serbian keeper.
Later on, Ghana played Australia. In some ways, it was much the same story as the Germany game: Australia got a red card in the first half, but played the better game despite being a man down. Luckily for them, they'd scored early in the first, off a great set piece. When a hand ball (which I still think was unintentional) was called against an Australian defender for blocking a goal-scoring opportunity in the box, it all went south - Australia lost a man, and Ghana made their penalty kick, tying the score at 1-all. Australia controlled the second half but didn't take the lead back, leaving them in last place in the group.

Group D Current Rankings:
Ghana - 4 pts & +1 gd
Germany - 3 pts & +3 gd
Serbia - 3 pts & 0 gd
Australia - 1 pt & -4 gd
Germany will play Ghana in their final match, with a win essentially securing the top spot in the group for either team. Australia needs to beat Serbia, and soundly, but will still need help from Ghana in order to make it through. Serbia could yet take first, and Ghana could still fail to advance, but either Germany or Australia will be eliminated. My money's on Australia. As before, though, anything can happen.

Group E - Netherlands, Denmark, Japan, Cameroon
(My Picks: Japan & Denmark, though the Dutch are cool too)
NED 1-0 JAP
CAM 1-2 DEN
Not much happened in the first half of the Netherlands/Japan game, so let's ignore that. (While we're on the subject, the Dutch have a pivotal role in Japanese history, which has almost no bearing on this game.) Early in the second half, the Netherlands found a man wide open on the periphery, and managed a laser from long range for the only goal of the game. Japan never found itself in the same rhythm they did against Cameroon, and their goalkeeper saw a lot more excitement, but for what it's worth, keeping the Dutch to one goal is pretty good.
Denmark was looking for a win against Cameroon, having lost to Holland earlier. Cameroon, meanwhile, was fighting to just stay in the Cup, and were facing elimination. Eto'o scored early, the Danish defense looking utterly useless, but the Vikings answered back with a beauty of a cross past the keeper. The game was tied at the half, but at 61 minutes, Denmark found another, beating a lazy defense and sneaking a strong left foot into the corner. Cameroon had the majority of the shots, but it was Denmark that capitalized on them, and Cameroon becomes the first team eliminated.

Group E Current Rankings:
Netherlands - 6 pts & +3 gd
Japan - 3 pts & 0 gd
Denmark - 3 pts & -1 gd
Cameroon - 0 pts & -2 gd
Cameroon gets to play against the Netherlands, but even if they win, the Dutch will take one of the two open spots. The second will be either Japan or Denmark (since one of them must earn points from the game). Japan has an advantage here: they can play for a tie, which will preserve their edge in goal difference and beat out Denmark.

Group F - Italy, Paraguay, Argentina, Slovakia
(My Picks: New Zealand & Slovakia)
SLV 0-2 PAR
ITA 1-1 NZA
The main story of the Slovakia/Paraguay game was Paraguay's offense. Slovakia played decently enough, but had no fire, no drive. They looked slow, especially compared to a very fast, very dangerous Paraguay. There's no single stat that explains the difference - in fact, Slovakia had more time of possession (52% vs 48%) - but from watching it, the outcome was never truly in doubt. Paraguay moves to the top of the group with the win, while this lose puts Slovakia in a very tenuous position.
New Zealand is not a land known for soccer. Sheep, yes, landscape, yes, rugby, yes - the All-Blacks are one of the winningest rugby teams in history. Their soccer counterparts, the All-Whites, are ranked 78th in FIFA (and there are only 32 teams playing - even being in the Cup was an upset.) Italy, on the other hand, are not only ranked 5th, but are the defending champions from 2006. And so, when New Zealand received a clumsy deflection just a few steps outside the Italian goal and buried it, the Azzurri were understandably shocked. And then when New Zealand bunkered in, they were equally shocked at their own inability to score. Eventually, they did - a penalty kick off a rather weak foul in the box - but New Zealand didn't give up. In fact, they almost won it with a last second shot that drifted just inches wide. The 1-1 tie is a small scandal for the Italians, but in New Zealand it's being heralded as their most important moment in soccer history.

Group F Current Rankings:
Paraguay - 4 pts & +2 gd
New Zealand - 2 pts & 0 gd*
Italy - 2 pts & 0 gd*
Slovakia - 1 pt & -2 gd
*(Technically, Italy and New Zealand are tied so thoroughly that if the groups ended as they are now, FIFA would have to use a random drawing to determine who will advance. I figured I'd give it to the Kiwis.)
Paraguay sits atop a rather thin lead, but can probably beat New Zealand for the top spot (never say die though, Zealanders!). It will come down to Slovakia against Italy, where a win for Slovakia will put the Azzuri not just out of the tournament, but at the bottom of their group. Again, anything can happen, and my dream New Zealand-Slovakia finish is still an (admittedly distant) possibility.

Group G - Ivory Coast, Portugal, Brazil, North Korea
(My Picks: North Korea is BEST KOREA. Also, Ivory Coast)
BRA 3-1 CIV
POR 7-0 PRK
Poor North Korea. I heard a rumor that this game was actually broadcast live in North Korea, and it couldn't've gone worse for the poor guys. After going into halftime with them down one, I came back afterward and thought the 7-0 scoreline had to be a mistake. I didn't watch the second half, so I can't tell you what went wrong, but North Korea must've made some bad errors. Apparently the Portos scored 3 goals in 7 minutes, which would be pretty soul-crushing. Better luck next time, Best Korea.
Brazil, in the meantime, was predictably excellent against the Ivory Coast. There was a great goal by Fabiano, followed later by a not-so-great goal by Fabiano ("Two hand-balls? Eh, play on,"), followed by another great goal by Elaino. Even Cote d'Ivoire got in on the action, with a textbook header that the Brazilian keeper didn't even bother diving after. But then things turned ugly, with a dispute over a foul getting as close to a fight breaking out as I've seen (in soccer, anyway). What's more maddening is that it concluded with an Ivorian running into Brazil's Kaka, clutching his own face, and falling over, which the ref somehow interpreted as worthy of throwing Kaka out of the game (and consequently, the next one as well). Ugly, ugly play by the Africans.

Group G Current Rankings:
Brazil - 6 pts & +3 gd
Portugal - 4 pts & +7(!) gd
Ivory Coast - 1 pts & -2 gd
North Korea - 0 pts & -8 gd
North Korea, sadly, is the worst team so far, standings-wise. In a weaker group they may've had a chance, but in the "Group of Death," they've been eliminated. They'll be playing Ivory Coast in their last game, with a chance at getting at least one win to cheer about. Even if Ivory Coast wins, they'll still need a combined goal-difference shift of 9 goals in order to beat Portugal for the second spot. It's not happening - I guarantee Brazil & Portugal will advance, or I'll... um... I dunno. Do something ridiculous.

Group H - Honduras, Chile, Spain, Switzerland
(My Picks: Switzerland and Not-Spain)
CHI 1-0 SUI
ESP 2-0 HON
I just realized I've been working on this since 4:30, and it's 10 o'clock now, so I'll cut to the chase on this one: In the first game, Chile played well, and the Swiss had good defense, but not good enough. In the second game, Spain is good and Honduras isn't. It's a shame this group's second set of games were so boring, but I guess it makes up for last round's excitement.

Group H Current Rankings:
Chile - 6 pts & +2 gd
Spain - 3 pts & +1 gd
Switzerland - 3 pts & 0 gd
Honduras - 0 pts & -3 gd
Honduras can still get into the next round, though it'd take a stunner - specifically, a 5-0 win over Switzerland, whose goal allowed last game was their first in a ludicrously long time. What's more likely is a three-way points tie, with Spain beating Chile and Switzerland beating Honduras. If that happens, it'll come down to goal difference - not the place the Swiss would like to be. They'd prefer it if Chile beats Spain, which (assuming they at least tie Honduras) will give them the second spot in Group H.

Anyway, that's it for now! Tragically, the games are played simultaneously in the final round, and I'll be busy in the mornings all this week, so I will end up missing (try not to cry, Kurt, try not to cry) three quarters of the games in the final stage. This is especially bad, considering one of those games is the USA's almost-must-win match against Algeria. Never fear, though - ESPN is posting them online, so as long as I'm careful not to hear the score beforehand, nothing is lost. And naturally, I'll be giving another report going into the elimination stage.

Next Time:
Round of 16. Oh yeaaaaaa.