The Green Tide overcomes Relationship Issues

Today was reasonably boring, in that I didn't have work to do and didn't feel like writing (my poor JulNoWriMo is stuck at 35,000, and I've got a week left), so I pretty much wasted the entire day.

I did clean the gutters, and let me say this: Anyone who has never been on the roof of their own home should correct that promptly. Really. It's like a big private patio with a great view, and the only drawback is that the floor is at an angle. If I didn't have to get out a ladder in order to get up there, it'd be one of my favorite places in the house ('on the house', properly).

I also went to my church's Young Adult Fellowship group, which I'd been skipping the last few weeks. They were talking about "Relationships," which is a nice Christian euphemism for sex. We went through the Song of Solomon, probably the most under-read book in the Bible. Naturally, it was hilariously awkward. I'd almost forgotten how silly we Christians are about that.

Someone else also asked me (rhetorically, I'm sure) what the word 'monogamy' meant to me. For a minute I considered typing up my thoughts on the matter here, in one big, definitive posting. Then I decided that'd probably become regrettably woe-is-ronery-me in a matter of seconds, so I didn't. Instead, I did the exact opposite of address my oddly-skewed view of what makes for a successful relationship.

I wrote an army list for the Space Orks.

[People who are sick of my current 40k phase should tune out here and skip to the last paragraph]

As I mentioned before, WH40k started as 'Generic Fantasy Archetypes in Space!', and still bears this influence despite being wildly more successful than it's counterpart, Warhammer Fantasy Battles (which, to be fair, is an excellent and strategically-complex game, but is utterly lacking in chainswords). Naturally, a fantasy setting has Orcs, and in space, they are called Orks.

Get used to that K-replacement. The Orks have the dubious honor of being 40k's comic relief faction. They are laughably absurd in a galaxy which is otherwise exceedingly grim and dark. Of course, that kind of 'comic relief' involves them being able to field a gun that uses their own young as ammunition, and shoots them through a portal into Hell at enemies, who are then devoured alive by the Ork's now-insane progeny. It also involves spelling everything with Ks, no Hs, and no Gs.

Despite that (honestly, probably because of this) Orks have a wide and devoted player base. The Ork army is based essentially on a single statline, the Ork Boyz. Crappy Ballistics Skill and Initiative, but high Toughness and Weapon Skill, along with 2 Attacks in hand-to-hand, make these guys natural assault units. And since the entire army is made of Boyz (in essence; the Elite units are generally just Boyz with better guns), being assault-focussed is a no-brainer. Add in that Boyz are only 6 points each, and have special morale rules (the "Mob Rule") that benefit from having gigantic squads, and the Ork 'tactic' of choice becomes apparent: put as many Boyz on the table as possible, run towards the nearest enemy, and beat the crap out of them. This is affectionately known as the Green Tide (because Orks are green, you see?).

Now, if all there were was Boyz, they'd have trouble with certain units, so it's still necessary to provide some support to your horde of Orks, but it's important not to take too many special units. Thus, the list:
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Ork - Kombined Arms

HQ: [note#2]

Big Mek (35)
-w/ Kustom Force Field (35)
-w/ 'Eavy Armour (5)

Troops: [note#1]

30 x Shoota Boyz (180)
-3 w/ Big Shoota (15)

20 x Slugga Boyz (120)
-w/ Nob (10)
. -w/ Power Klaw (25)
. -w/ Bosspole (5)

20 x Slugga Boyz (120)
-w/ Nob (10)
. -w/ Power Klaw (25)
. -w/ Bosspole (5)

Fast Attack: [note#3]

2 x Deffkoptas (70)
-both w/ twin-linked Rokkit Launcha (20)
-first w/ buzzsaw (25)
-other w/ Bigboom (15)

2 x Deffkoptas (70)
-both w/ twin-linked Rokkit Launcha (20)
-first w/ buzzsaw (25)
-other w/ Bigbomm (15)

Heavy Support: [note#4]

3 x Killa Kans (105)
-w/ Grotzooka (30)


Note#1:
The heart of this army is in these troops. There is one squad of 30 'Shoota Boyz', Boyz with at least somewhat effective rifles. This squad is also equiped with three Big Shootas, somewhat more effective machineguns. Even though Orks only hit about a third of the time, a big enough squad shooting will probably cause some decent damage, and they're still capable in an assault. The Shoota Boyz are backing up two squads of 20 'Slugga Boyz', who are the same, but exchange their rifles for pistols and crude melee weapons. That means they get four attacks on the charge, with enough bodies to soak up return damage like a sponge. Each Slugga squad contains a Nob (Ork veteran) with a power klaw and a bosspole. The bosspole allows them to reroll any failed morale checks, while the power klaw allows them to act as anti-tank squads in a pinch.

Note#2:
The Orks have three HQ choices, with the most obvious being the Warboss, a sort of huge, tough, destroy everything in close combat guy that punchs holes in battletanks with his hands. I didn't take him. Instead, I took a Big Mek, who acts as a support character. First off, he's nice and cheap. Second, with his Kustom Force Field, he provides a much-needed cover save for my mass of exposed infantry, which allows that many more of them to get into combat. He would probably attach to one of the two Slugga squads, staying on the edge to be within Force Field range of the other one, since leaving him seperate is just asking for him to get picked off, even in 'Eavy Armour (it confuses me that a race incapable of prounoucing the letter H still uses proper British spelling of the word 'armor'...).

Note#3:
Ahh, the Deffkopta (yes, its a helicopter that causes death). Deffkoptas count as jetbikes for movement purposes, which means they can go up to 24". They also have Scout, which means they get a free move before the start of the game. Thus, if you have first turn, you can Scout 24", move 12", and assault 6", for a total of 42" before your opponent even moves. If you're not going first, just Outflank with them to come in off a table edge and hit your opponent that way. They've got some of the few accurate rocket launchers you can have (twin-linked means hitting 55% of the time rather than 33%), and the buzzsaw is basically a powerfist. I threw in Bigbomms (a quirky sort of anti-infantry bomb) to get some horde-killing out of this unit in case there's no vehicles to kill. Basically, they can kill the things that would kill my Boyz, making for an excellent support unit. Which is why I took two of them.

Note#4:
And last, the Killa Kans (yes, they're metal cans that kill people). Kans are the cheapest walkers in the game (edit: actually, it's Imperial Guard Sentinels, but close enough), and a full squad of three provides the final cog in this list, for two reasons. 1) They draw a lot of fire away from the Boyz, and can soak up a fair bit of shooting. They draw fire because they are 2) a dangerous threat of their own right, either making 6 Str10 attacks in close combat (and immune to a large portion of return fire) or shooting 6 Str6 blast templates.
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Granted, I could've dropped the Deffkoptas and Kans and instead stuck 65 more Ork Boyz in this list for a maximized Green Tide, but I like to think this is both a good bit more interesting and at least a little more effective.

Tactically, the Deffkoptas are two fast-moving suicide units that should kill anything too threatening right away, protecting my massive block of infantry advancing up the center of the table under the KFF cover save, led by a trio of very threatening-looking walkers that actually can dish out the damage. Once the Sluggas get into melee, they should be able to either kill their opponents (it they're basic infantry or a very small assault unit) or at least tie them up for the rest of the game (if they're Terminators or other hard-to-kill guys) while the Shootas cover the rear.

Thus, I recognized some of the important advantages of being single: namely, there's no one getting pissy if you waste all your time playing with your plastic army men.

Next Time (40k): Spess Muhraines!
Next Time (Cop Stuff): Ridealong on Saturday(!)
Next Time (philosophy): Sorry, I only think about trivial things these days.