[CopWednesday 2] 1.66e10 kg^2/s^3

I recently found out my internship allows me to participate in weekly training seminars. These are mostly aimed at providing a 'first taste' of some of the different specialized units in the police force. Since these things come up every Wednesday, and they're pretty interesting, I'll probably this be a regular weekly segment. So, for the first (or second, let's say) episode of Cop Wednesday: The K-9 Unit!

Yes, K-9 is exactly what it says: the unit with dogs in it. I still haven't figured out if the alphanumeric designation is actually warranted or is just an extremely lazy pun.

In any event, K-9 units are a vital resource to any department, and one of the most sought-after positions in the police force. Talk to anyone on patrol, and chances are they'd jump at the chance to be in K-9. The reasons for this are manifold: it's a pay bump, dogs are fun, and you'll never have to chase a guy down on foot ever again.

The MoCo PD uses mostly German Shepherds, with a few Belgian Malinois thrown in for good measure. They are all imported from Europe, where the popularity of Schutzhund (a dog-sport that is scored based on a dog's ability to obey commands through gunfire and attack human opponents, I kid you not) has led to a derth of excellent working dogs. The analogy the officer giving the demonstration used was football: If a dog isn't quite good enough to compete in Europe, they send him over to the American leagues.

Once purchased, dogs are trained alongside their handlers (the K-9 officers) in a 14-week course designed to acclimate them to the police environment. They are also trained in either drug- or bomb-detection (Bloodhounds are also employed as specialist trackers, but don't handle routine police work).

The primary motivator in a dog's training is positive reinforcement. More punishment-centric training methods have been phased out, upon evidence that they lead to shorter useful careers and a less enthusiastic police dog. Nowadays, when the dog does follows a command, it is given a reward (usually food or a favorite toy and some affection; dogs are remarkably easy to please). As the K-9 officer explained, it's all a game to the dog, and they're excited for the opportunity to sniff out your hiding place and gnaw on your arm.

Dogs are valuable because they can do things a human simply could not. No one (or almost no one), however well trained, can sniff out trace amounts of cocaine without even leaving their car. No one can run 35 miles per hour and take down an armed suspect. There's something uniquely intimidating about an 85 lbs. seeking missile with a 4,000 psi bite (police dogs are only considered non-lethal force because they are very carefully trained not to attack vital areas). And while the dogs aren't exactly expendable, having one killed is much less of a blow than losing a human officer.

Dogs have been Man's Best Friend since time immemorial (which, fun fact, English law declared to be September 3rd, 1189) for exactly this reason. Humans and dogs complement each other such that they can accomplish more together than on their own.

No one person can do all things, and as such we are naturally incomplete. In fact, a fundamental part of the human psyche is devoted to managing our interactions with others, and without those others our lives are lacking one of the basic essentials to satisfied living. By finding others who complement ourselves, and by simultaneously fitting into the empty gaps in their lives, we form a mosaic of sappy, artsy, touchy-feely completeness.

Okay, maybe that's overstating it, but you have to admit there's something nice about being part of a team. And even if that team is just you and your partner (in Bokononism, the duprass), its a lot better than being on your own.

Next Time: XV-8 Battlesuit Builds & The Standard Deviation